Hollywood has been buzzing with the news that celebs Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are divorcing. The divorce, as often happens, seems to be getting nasty and the couple are not speaking to each other. It appears a custody battle is brewing over their young daughter.
I normally don’t post anything on this blog about Hollywood stars, but an interesting aspect of this situation centers around religion. Tom Cruise is famous and talented, but he is also often the subject of jokes about his antics and commitment to scientology, a quasi-religious sect. Katie Holmes was raised Catholic. Several reports indicate scientology and its potential effect on their six year old daughter played a role in her filing for divorce. Who know what’s really going on…I don’t.
What I do know is that about one in four Americans marries someone who doesn’t share their religion and those marriages are less likely to last. In fact, they are three times more likely to divorce than couples who share the same faith.
When I was a teenager, I heard a minister teach what he called “Christian dating standards.” The basic idea is that a dedicated Christian should only date dedicated Christians. The reason was because we can become emotionally attached to anyone we spend time with and may end up married to someone who is ultimately not the kind of person we would want as our spouse. If you don’t want to be married to someone who drinks, then don’t date someone who drinks, etc… If you want a spouse who is a dedicated Christian, then date someone who is already that kind of person. It wasn’t being judgmental; it was being wise and practical. It was also an application of II Corinthians 6:14…“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
It made sense to me and I committed myself to the principle of Christian dating standards. It meant I didn’t date as much as my friends. It also meant I missed out on a lot of emotional turmoil, temptations, and bad choices. Ultimately it meant I married the woman who has been my wife for more than 30 years…the woman I love more today than when I first told her “I love you.”
I saw so many of my high school friends, including many who were Christians, make choices that did not work out as they had hoped. I performed weddings for many of them who would later divorce.
Having been a pastor for more than 35 years, I have seen all I need to see to know that the preacher I first heard as a teenager was right. While Christian dating standards do not guarantee a great marriage, they definitely make it more likely you will have one.
Pastor Steve Hogg
Leave a Reply