Stephanie Neel

My family always attended church where our German heritage was important and was something that was passed along from generation to generation. Church was a bad experience for me. I heard about God's love but witnessed unloving behavior and lots of controversy. Always feeling different and never fitting in, I was bullied by others, experienced depression, anxiety and a great loneliness. During this time I began playing the cello and drawing, which helped relieve some of the pain but it was only temporary. Relief was cut short though when my beloved grandmother committed suicide after many attempts. I often thought it would be so easy to check out like my grandmother did just so I could get rid of the pain. To fill the holes in my heart, I started partying and became promiscuous.

After college I fell in love with Jim and we married. We were very happy and before long we found we were expecting a baby. Shortly thereafter our baby died. Then I remembered God, and I prayed to Him that if He was real to show me the way. God quickly answered my prayer. Jim went to work with a group of Christians who constantly hounded us to go to church until we finally gave in. After a few weeks, the sermon really spoke to me. Right then I experienced a war within my soul where good and evil was pulling me a part. I chose a life with Jesus and physically felt God come into my life and heart. The war in my soul was over and I immediately felt freed from all the pain and felt a happiness I had never known. I announced to the people I was with that I was giving my life to Christ, believed in him and wanted to be his follower.

Without Jesus Christ I would have given up and not be alive today either physically or spiritually. He has been by my side through the diagnoses of autism in my two sons, cancer, sickness and many trials and tribulations. I know that Jesus will never leave me nor forsake me. Jesus has taught me I don't have to worry or be anxious about anything. And just as he promised, I have experienced His peace that surpasses all understanding as He guards my heart and mind. Just as God sent His Son because He loved me; Jesus sent Himself to live in me, comfort me and help me in my troubles. Now I am blessed to be able to play my cello for God with each note being a love song to Him straight from my heart to His. Because Jesus is real and alive I am alive too!

Stephanie Neel