What makes a church a friendly church?

I started thinking about that question after my family worshiped at a Baptist church Sunday morning while on vacation. We heard a sermon with sound Biblical teaching and there was a warm spirit in the congregation. Several people shook our hands and no one made us feel like we weren’t welcome. So you might wonder why I asked myself such a question as we got in the van to leave. Let me explain.

We arrived before the service began and were greeted warmly by the ushers as we entered the building. We found our seat and were greeted by a man while waiting for the service to begin. During the traditional welcome several people shook our hands. Following the benediction, members began talking with each other. Only one man spoke to us. The pastor greeted the congregation as everyone exited the building, but he was only able to glance at us, quickly shake our hands and say “thank you for coming.” He wasn’t able to engage us as guests in personal conversation because a member was standing there occupying his time by discussing some issue with him as people were leaving.

That caught my attention. But what really got me thinking was the fact that only two people spoke to us at a time or in a manner that was not “official.” In other words, we were greeted by ushers (official), by members during the welcome handshake time (official) and in a glancing manner by the pastor as we left (official). Two men, one before the service began and another after it ended, spoke to us “unofficially.”

It wasn’t a big deal to me. I’m a pastor and go to church all the time. I’m comfortable in those settings and I’m a fairly confident guy, so it didn’t bother me. But I started to think how a guest, especially one who was lost or had not been to church in a long time, might have felt if the only time people spoke to him was during the “official” times when we’re supposed to do so?

I guess my point is this: what happens at church during those “unofficial” moments may be even more important than the “official” ones, especially since the “official” times to greet guests are only a brief part of the Sunday morning experience.

A friendly church likes people, including new people, and its members go out of their way to meet and get to know new people. They don’t spend all their “unofficial” time talking to one another. They look for new people, talk to them, and introduce to others in the congregation. They invite them to their Sunday School class and even to lunch.

Church members don’t ignore new people on purpose. We are all creatures of habit and talking to people we know is what we naturally do. Being friendly to new people, however, is very intentional.

Pastor Steve Hogg